My life in sex: ‘I can’t feel sexual attraction without an emotional connection’

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The person who identifies as demisexual

At 69, I have learned something about myself that has given me a new understanding of my sexuality, and prompted me to re-evaluate large parts of my adult life. I’ve learned that I am a demisexual: a person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction without emotional connection.

Now I understand why I’ve always been mystified by pornography, and uncomfortable with the idea of casual sex. Friends assumed this was because I was either inhibited or overly moralistic – but I’ve never thought casual sex is wrong in any way; I just can’t understand why anyone would want to have it. For me, sex fits only into the context of an intimate relationship. There is clearly a lot about how sexual attraction works for most people that I have never experienced, and only barely understand.

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Gym

Gym

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