Should I forgive my husband for cheating on me with his ex-wife?

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Take time to ponder if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who was never really with you in the first place, says Annalisa Barbieri

After 30 years of marriage, I accidentally came across pictures of my husband with his ex-wife, and after confronting him found out they had been having an affair that spanned well over a decade. It may have ended five years ago, but he can’t remember exactly. I knew they had stayed in touch, but he always assured me they were just friends. She is also in a second marriage and we both have grownup children. My husband and his ex never had children together. Several times she visited us. I did not like it, or want her to, but her feelings were always more important than mine. He assured me again that they were “just friends”. I trusted this man with my life.

He knew I thought he was faithful: I was not suspicious; there were no hints. I could kick myself for being so stupid. He also gave her money, many times. Now that he is caught, and believes a lawyer has the pictures, he is distraught and begging me to work things out.

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